4th year bliss

All throughout my medical school career, I've been told of the wonders of fourth year. As a nervous, budding first year student being taught clinical skills by the fourth year medical students, I remember noticing how happy they all looked. I remember as I was preparing for my "head to toe" exam where we have to perform all the physical exam skills within a certain time  limit, that one fourth year student in December, threw his arm out. By playing the Wii. I figured that there must be that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, that the stresses and fears of incompetency lessened by the end of medical school. I wasn't quite naive enough to believe fourth year was all magic and ponies and rainbows, but I was almost to that point.

As my bf has pointed out, fourth year is practically half gone already. And is it all magical rainbow ponies? Not quite. But I can honestly say the majority of the stress is over. I've successfully passed the remaining licensing exams I had to complete this year before December, and actually did well. I have no more exams left in medical school period. Applications for residency have been sent in, and now the stress that remains is not blowing the interviews. But even that isn't as stressful this go around. Don't get me wrong, an interview is an interview, and for me, it is incredibly anxiety-inducing, probably more so than for the average person. I know it's supposed to be easy, it's talking about yourself!- but I fear that as an introverted person whose ideal weekend is curled up in bed with a cup of green tea reading- doesn't offer enough uniqueness and vibrancy to a program. A fear that I know is semi-unwarranted, but sometimes it can be difficult squashing these worries.

But I will say, at least over the past few weeks after my sub-internship- an incredibly intense rotation and applications have been sent in, I gradually feel like I'm getting my life back. A two day weekend?! Almost unheard of for so long. Free time? Getting home at 4 and not having to crack open a book and do practice questions? Say it isn't so! It's given me a new chance to try a few new hobbies- painting and trying my hand at felting some small fuzzy little creatures. And if you told me 6 months ago, or heck, even 1 month ago, that I would be spending this past Saturday night playing League of Legends, I would have scoffed and rolled some eyeballs. And yet, I find myself immersed in a computer game that may very well explode my poor laptop, as I don't think the poor thing can handle it.

So although nerves from upcoming interviews that happened to crop up much faster than anticipated, I am pretty happy to say that the fourth year bliss is at least mostly true. And although I haven't quite gotten to the end, I can at least say I'm finally, truly enjoying the ride.