Being at home studying my life away has been both relaxing and stressful. Relaxing in the sense that it's really nice to be back with my family, but stressful in the sense that I'm spending the vast majority of my time studying for yet another exam.
And after my last post, written out of frustration and anger, I really want this blog on the whole to have a more positive light. Of course, venting has usually helped me release my feelings, especially since my feelings cannot be expressed to this particular person yet, being that we are in different states (and also because although on the whole I am over the whole situation, thinking about her antics makes me irritated all over again and so approaching her would probably just end up with the two of us yelling, which is not productive). But going through that a couple of weeks ago really made me appreciate my true friends and family even more, and for that I am grateful.
A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my friend and he was telling me about a situation where a guy was walking his friend (who was a girl) to her car, or perhaps to her house, I'm not sure. 9 times out of 10, nothing happens. But this time, they were mugged, and instead of the guy standing up for and helping the girl, he ran and left the girl at the hands of the mugger. It reminded me of a similar situation I saw watching Grey's Anatomy way back when (yes, I admit I did see a couple of seasons) an engaged couple witnessed a shooting and the guy of the couple used his fiancee as a shield. Twice. Which I think led to the breakdown of that fictional relationship. But in talking to my friend about this real life situation, I was shocked, but not all that surprised. It's easy to say one will do the "right" thing and not abandon someone in a time of need especially if you've given your word to escort someone safely. But when there is a true threat, people tend to panic and then those words can go out the window. It led our conversation to a further discussion of the prisoner's dilemma and what we would do in situations like that. And I realized that I'm blessed to say that not only do I have many good friends, but I have friends that I feel comfortable saying I trust that they would have my back in these situations, that certain friend being one of them. But it's not just my friends, it's my family too.
I know that no matter what, my parents and sister have my back. I'd like to think that they raised me to be polite and (somewhat) independent. My parents have been so supportive of me and my endeavors, even if their help (my dad telling me to "go study" and "study hard" any time I'm taking a little break) is a little annoying at times, it's warranted (hence my current slacking, and unfortunately frequent afternoon cat naps) and appreciated. My whole family is also taking off the two days after I take my board exam as well so we can have some quality family time before I go back to Chicago for another round of rotations before coming back in September. It makes me feel almost guilty, that they give me so much without asking for anything in return. I can focus most of my time studying and not have to worry about cooking meals. I've tried to keep up with cleaning dishes post dinner, but my sister and mom have definitely picked up my slack when I miss without complaints. My dad and sister have even volunteered to drive me to and from my exam when I said that last year I was so exhausted after my first licensing exam that it took me a while to get the energy to drive home. I only hope that once I'm done this exam and also finally start earning an income I can show them my appreciation for all they've done for me, friends included. I'm looking forward to having a pseudo-life again very soon.
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