Friday, April 14, 2006
It's All About What's Meant to Be
It kind of sucks how things don't turn out the way you want them to. It was so depressing to come back from what was probably the best week of my life in Russia to come back to all the disappointment from colleges. I was/am so happy for everyone who got into where they wanted, for everyone who had lots of good choices and options, but I guess I couldn't help being jealous. Jealous of everyone who got into where I really wanted to go. And depressed to be left here. Depressed about how that stupid witch told me I was throwing my life away by staying here to go to CU. Depressed that my Russian buddy has not written me back even though I wrote like 2 weeks ago almost, and depressed how I can't seem to get back to that level of happiness I had there. But this week I stayed much more positive and optimistic, and not only am I so much happier now, but I realized that maybe it's just what's meant to be and that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I'm meant to not have a prom date. Maybe I'm meant to learn something from all this. Maybe staying here is what I need for myself, and looking over the mountains I've seen my whole life will somehow hem up my raw edges. I think I believe in fate, and maybe my fate's here if I just make the best of it. :)
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5 comments:
i love this positive attitude kelsey. i think everyone knows that u deserved to get into a lot of the schools u applied to. but a lot of the time, we don't get what we deserve. it's sad, but true. and when things like that happen, ur right, they happen for a reason. i'm proud of you kelsey, in so many ways. i don't know if that means anything, but i know u've got some great things in store for u. i love u kels and we're both going to have an awesome time prom night without dates.
Fate. Yes fate. I completely know what you are talking about. Everyone tells me I shouldn't live at home, i'll regret it blah blah. But "its all about what's meant to be." I agree fate takes us where we are supposed to go, and even though something seems totally sucky right now, in a few months, days or (sometimes)years everything will work out to be the best, and the way it is supposed to be.
I understand what you mean about the level of happiness you had in Russia. I can't forget the exhileration I felt in New York, and I really miss the fun we had. But I guess we both have to keep those times in our hearts, and know we're going to be able to feel all those feelings again in college. You can get back to that level Kelseykins, you just got to wait for college.
And honestly, CU is not a bad school. Plus when you become miss-famous-scientest/doctor-woman ten or 15 years from now you can laugh at all those schools for rejecting you.
Fate. It's gonna happen the way its gonna happen, and I guess we all need to realize that. I tell myself to trust fate repeatedly, but its hard to believe it at times. I think you have come to believe it, and I'm happy you have.
You go my lovely validictorian!
...looking over the mountains I've seen my whole life will somehow hem up my raw edges.
That's a beautiful thought, Kelsey. Remember how once I asked you all to think of a beautiful sentence? That was it; that was yours, right there.
I think you'll do it, you'll hem up your edges, cause you're already well on your way there.
It makes me so happy to read what you wrote..it's indicative of this amazing strength you've developed, one that you can fall back on no matter where you go.
I feel like we all have Russia weeks here and there, as long as we work for them. Just look forward to the ones you haven't experienced yet. :)
sry about college decisions. cu will be great, i promise.
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