Thanks for having my back

Being at home studying my life away has been both relaxing and stressful. Relaxing in the sense that it's really nice to be back with my family, but stressful in the sense that I'm spending the vast majority of my time studying for yet another exam.
And after my last post, written out of frustration and anger, I really want this blog on the whole to have a more positive light. Of course, venting has usually helped me release my feelings, especially since my feelings cannot be expressed to this particular person yet, being that we are in different states (and also because although on the whole I am over the whole situation, thinking about her antics makes me irritated all over again and so approaching her would probably just end up with the two of us yelling, which is not productive). But going through that a couple of weeks ago really made me appreciate my true friends and family even more, and for that I am grateful.

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my friend and he was telling me about a situation where a guy was walking his friend (who was a girl) to her car, or perhaps to her house, I'm not sure. 9 times out of 10, nothing happens. But this time, they were mugged, and instead of the guy standing up for and helping the girl, he ran and left the girl at the hands of the mugger. It reminded me of a similar situation I saw watching Grey's Anatomy way back when (yes, I admit I did see a couple of seasons) an engaged couple witnessed a shooting and the guy of the couple used his fiancee as a shield. Twice. Which I think led to the breakdown of that fictional relationship. But in talking to my friend about this real life situation, I was shocked, but not all that surprised. It's easy to say one will do the "right" thing and not abandon someone in a time of need especially if you've given your word to escort someone safely. But when there is a true threat, people tend to panic and then those words can go out the window. It led our conversation to a further discussion of the prisoner's dilemma and what we would do in situations like that. And I realized that I'm blessed to say that not only do I have many good friends, but I have friends that I feel comfortable saying I trust that they would have my back in these situations, that certain friend being one of them. But it's not just my friends, it's my family too. 

I know that no matter what, my parents and sister have my back. I'd like to think that they raised me to be polite and (somewhat) independent. My parents have been so supportive of me and my endeavors, even if their help (my dad telling me to "go study" and "study hard" any time I'm taking a little break) is a little annoying at times, it's warranted (hence my current slacking, and unfortunately frequent afternoon cat naps) and appreciated. My whole family is also taking off the two days after I take my board exam as well so we can have some quality family time before I go back to Chicago for another round of rotations before coming back in September. It makes me feel almost guilty, that they give me so much without asking for anything in return. I can focus most of my time studying and not have to worry about cooking meals. I've tried to keep up with cleaning dishes post dinner, but my sister and mom have definitely picked up my slack when I miss without complaints. My dad and sister have even volunteered to drive me to and from my exam when I said that last year I was so exhausted after my first licensing exam that it took me a while to get the energy to drive home. I only hope that once I'm done this exam and also finally start earning an income I can show them my appreciation for all they've done for me, friends included. I'm looking forward to having a pseudo-life again very soon.

Ranting on Ridiculous Ultimatums

For the third time in as many months, I have had someone try to screw me over, twice by one person. I'm not really sure what it is about me that attracts these kind of people. Maybe I look like a pushover or too timid, I don't really know but it's infuriating. In all situations, an agreement was reached between all parties. Then the person decided that she changed her mind and really doesn't want to do what was agreed upon. She then comes up with what she deems "fair" without consulting anyone else, and then basically hands it down as an ultimatum to me. No compromising, no negotiations, her way or else. I'm not sure how these people learned how to solve conflicts, but especially if you are the one who is backing out on your word, you better be prepared to offer something in return. If you are the one going against an agreement, shouldn't you be the one to compromise a little more than the other party? At least that seems like it makes sense to me, but I guess not to other people.

I guess this might be a case of "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" because this is the second time on of these girls has pulled this kind of ridiculous bullshit on me. But I considered her a friend, and since things ended up working out really well for all parties involved, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and drop the issue. But this time it has happened again, and in a more serious manner. And the easy solution would be to explain how this was not ok and why I am so angry about how she handled the argument, but the problem is that we will have to see each other often and there's really no getting around that. But it's hard not to be disgusted with the selfish, childish behavior that is becoming repetitive nature to her.

So needless to say I guess I'm just hot and bothered and ranting to no one, but dealing with people who think it's ok to treat others this way is mind boggling. I never knew that to some, the idea of negotiation and compromise meant one person opens with what their "bottom line" is and that they will not move away from it, and expect everyone else to just succumb to these demands. My only hope is that after a month of cooling off for everyone after this last incident, we can at the very least start to maintain some civility, because I think friendship at this point may be out the window. Getting stomped all over is not part of my game plan for this year, and whether I lose some "friends" in the process, so be it.