It took some doing, but I finally finished my journal that I kept all throughout high school. I think it was sort of fitting that I ran out of room and ended my last page with graduation, kind of like I closed that chapter of my life. I read part of it last night, and I have to admit, parts of it were so hilarious because I'm glad to think that I've matured greatly since freshman year. Not to say that I'm not an idiot anymore, because sometimes I am. And always will be. Just a lot less so.
I'm thinking of looking at summer as my transition, the bridge chapter of my life. Unfortunately, it hasn't exactly started as well as I had liked, but hey, it's only the beginning, right? I've felt left out of the loop for so long, I want to focus on getting back into it. I can't go off to school by myself with ragged friendship bonds, can I? That would just be so depressing. No, I need to make them all nice and tight again. I think my problem has been that I've become very good at self-denial. I've built this wall up around me and it needs to come down. I think I'm too introverted, and while this isn't all that bad, it can be pretty self-destructing. I know it sounds pretty corny and ridiculous, but I think the problem is that I need to really come to terms with myself these two months. And break down that wall. And come to love myself. I don't think I really have, because my self-confidence has been shot this year with all the highs and lows. So this time, I want to focus on the highs. And build up from there. This summer, I want to be happy, and do lots of things I haven't done before. Like learn how to knit and go to a concert.
On a completely random thought, let me just say that Triveni is very very creepy when playing Mortal Kombat. Triv, you are shockingly vicious. ;) What a hilarious afternoon, from learning new fighting moves to being magical archers and jesters throwing bombs and swords and arrows at weird blue farmer zombies. We should do that again :)
4 comments:
<3 Gauntlet Legends.
its strangely addicting, i admit.
i agree. :)
really, i do. tanya rocks.
Thats so cool you kept a journal for all of high school. Its also very symbolic it ended exactly at graduation. Really very symbolic, Im serious here.
Its good Kelsey, you have the next chapter ready to go now. You dont have to be anyone but you now, and isn't that exciting?
By the way I dont think you put up a wall around you, but if you want to talk, I'm here.
And yes you should and will have fun this summer. Come over I'll teach you how to knit a scarf, trust me you'll need it in Boulder. Plus there is so much more that is going to happen to you Kelsey, that you will one day look back on your entire life and think, "man that was great!"
I love Mortal combat. Baraka and his sparks freaking rock. I must play that game again. And DDR. But not against khan or brandon cuz those kids are crrrrrrrazy!!
<3
Post a Comment