The start of a new year is as good a time as any to reflect on the past and life in general. Overall I think 2014 was a pretty good year. Finishing up third year, starting a new relationship with one of my best friends, deciding my career path and my future in medicine, and catching up with old friends was pretty much my whole year.But more than that, I can honestly say my maturity level grew significantly as of late. I realized holding on to old "friends" that I probably shouldn't even classify as friends to begin with can be quite toxic when they probably never even cared about you to start with, and it's best just to let some things go.
People always say to not look back, but I disagree. If you never look back to reflect on how things came about and why, then I don't think you can move forward and not make the same mistake again. Sure, if you're always looking back to the point where you're not looking forward, then ok, that's not going to work either. And I do think that can be a weakness of mine. I tend to look back and stay stuck in that guilty mindset of how I let myself or others down, and tend to not be able to move on.
So with the new year comes new resolutions, which unfortunately I'm never really been able to continue for more than a month or two. But I figured I'd start with some basic ones, such as vowing to exercise more since I've never been able to get on a regular schedule. I was hoping running my first 5k would jumpstart my exercise routine, but unfortunately I didn't exactly train for it as much as I should have. I'm still proud of myself for actually running the whole way, and I did run more than I probably would have if I didn't sign up for it with my friends, but it wasn't enough to kick me into a routine. So I'm hoping this year I can exercise more regularly. I also want to floss more, since I always floss daily before a dentist appointment and after for a month or so, and then it tapers off to maybe once a week. Ick. And lastly resolution-wise, I want to stay more organized. My room at home looks like a bomb went off in there because my frantic packing for Chicago went a little crazy. And I don't even live there really anymore, so the room should be emptier you would think. Even my room in Chicago looks crazy, with my things strewn half-hazardly around. So especially when I move into my next place which should theoretically be semi-permanent since I should be there for 3 years at least, I want to take my time organizing and making sure my place stays neat. I've become such a weird homebody lately and I've been suddenly really interested in my mom's home magazines and looking for furniture like the perfect desk (which I have found at Ikea I think, haha)
This year with the more freedom time-wise I have (at least until June anyways, but hey, that's like half the year, right?), I really want to focus on myself. My self-confidence was low around the end of last year/beginning of 2014 and I was full of doubt and anger. I want to focus on figuring out "me" and making sure I don't lose myself in the stresses of work and caring for others. I want to be able to organize my life and be able to stand up for myself when people are trying to take advantage of me. I've always been introverted and timid, and sometimes or maybe even a lot of times, I feel a little lost in the shuffle. This year I want to spend a little more time destressing with my creative side. Do a little more painting, some more origami, maybe even try my hand at drawing.
And now on this side of 2015, things like graduating this year have become a little more real. Writing a graduation date of 2015 all the time seemed really far off in the future, but not anymore. It's really starting to hit me, especially with all these interviews, that soon I won't be a student any longer. The patients I see in clinic will be mine. I'm going to be taking care of people who are going to see me as their doctor. Scary, but cool. Also, as I realized this morning and groaned to my boyfriend, 2015 means that next year is our 10 year high school reunion. That makes me feel a little old. But all part of growing up, I suppose. 2015 is probably going to be full of change, more so than my recent years, but I'm excited. Bring it on, and happy new year.
