I think my goal for the next four weeks--actually, make that twelve--is going to be to not pass out. It's probably going to be a constant silent chant for me...please don't pass out, please don't pass out, please don't pass out...Emergency medicine started yesterday, and four weeks of that combined with a subsequent eight long weeks of surgery is going to make for a hectic and probably overwhelming and slightly gory three months.
I am happy to say I survived shift 1 of 16 with minimal damage, although I didn't do any of the more scary procedures. I didn't think I had a problem with blood, but my aversion to do wound care, suturing, blood draws and IVs for the time being is proving otherwise. Weirdo that I am, I was actually fine with doing the rectal exam. Could also be that it takes a good 5 seconds, whereas I feel like suturing would probably take at least a half hour, probably with some more silent panic involved. Just watching a video on wound care was enough to make me feel slightly sick...those open wounds seemed crazy gruesome to me. I guess a life in the emergency department is just not for me. Not that I expected it to be. I'm already missing the organized and not-nearly-as-hectic life of neurology, extended work hours and all.
I'm not sure what it is about me, but my ability to overcome my shyness and adapt quickly to situations is just not readily available yet. Yesterday we had orientation and of course, I was one of the unlucky two to start a shift an hour after we ended. I felt so overwhelmed 30 min in, that I probably looked really rude as I forgot to introduce myself to any of the nurses. Luckily though I did at least remember the attending.
Shift two starts in 11 hours, let's hope my confidence has increased slightly since yesterday so I can knock more procedures off my list. And let's keep the passing out to a minimum. Or even better, to zero.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Where's the Lesion?
Time flies when you're having fun. At least that's how the saying goes. Honestly, it flies even when you're not exactly enjoying yourself but are just busy. Four weeks into the third year already, and I've finished one complete rotation. I seriously don't know where the time went. Did I have fun? I'm not sure I would put it squarely into the "fun" category....but I will say Neurology was better than I expected. The hours weren't as bad as I thought and the physicians were all super nice.
I will say though, it was quite an adjustment from sitting on my butt for 12 hours studying to standing 12 hours rounding on patients, trying to identify where the lesion is in the brain on stroke patients or why exactly patient so-and-so was fainting. Four short weeks was definitely not enough to master neurology, and I still somewhat feel quite clueless, but I think I can honestly say that I am more comfortable with patients and more importantly, the attendings.
I was so nervous the first day we were getting patients I almost threw up at home and again on the drive to the hospital. I felt like most of my fellow students were all "excited" to finally get out into the wards (the hospitals) but I actually felt way more nervous than excited. I think I feel more comfortable studying behind books, which made me seriously wonder what the heck I was doing here in medical school. I felt like the only introvert in a sea of extroverts. I do think it takes more of an effort for me to pipe up in front of the attendings and show off my extremely limited knowledge, but I think I'm getting there.
I'm even getting more confident driving! The streets of Chicago are waay crazier than Colorado. Traffic on the highways pretty much don't move, from 1pm onwards to about 7. (Don't people need to work??? Why are the highways so crowded so early?) People don't say thank you when you let them in, and taxi drivers especially will honk at you if you don't start driving the instant the light turns green. I've even seen two people yelling at each other from their cars because I guess one cut the other off. It makes me homesick for the Denver suburbs, or even North Chicago, something I truly thought I'd never say.
But through it all, in the past four weeks, if someone asks me where the lesion is, at least I can figure it out. About 2/3 the time.
I will say though, it was quite an adjustment from sitting on my butt for 12 hours studying to standing 12 hours rounding on patients, trying to identify where the lesion is in the brain on stroke patients or why exactly patient so-and-so was fainting. Four short weeks was definitely not enough to master neurology, and I still somewhat feel quite clueless, but I think I can honestly say that I am more comfortable with patients and more importantly, the attendings.
I was so nervous the first day we were getting patients I almost threw up at home and again on the drive to the hospital. I felt like most of my fellow students were all "excited" to finally get out into the wards (the hospitals) but I actually felt way more nervous than excited. I think I feel more comfortable studying behind books, which made me seriously wonder what the heck I was doing here in medical school. I felt like the only introvert in a sea of extroverts. I do think it takes more of an effort for me to pipe up in front of the attendings and show off my extremely limited knowledge, but I think I'm getting there.
I'm even getting more confident driving! The streets of Chicago are waay crazier than Colorado. Traffic on the highways pretty much don't move, from 1pm onwards to about 7. (Don't people need to work??? Why are the highways so crowded so early?) People don't say thank you when you let them in, and taxi drivers especially will honk at you if you don't start driving the instant the light turns green. I've even seen two people yelling at each other from their cars because I guess one cut the other off. It makes me homesick for the Denver suburbs, or even North Chicago, something I truly thought I'd never say.
But through it all, in the past four weeks, if someone asks me where the lesion is, at least I can figure it out. About 2/3 the time.
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