Where's the Balance?

The world's not fair, get over it. I've heard this many, many times, but I can't get over it. It's a fact, but should it really be? Why is it that sometimes working hard doesn't pay off, or that someone is constantly lucky at everything (or unfortunately, vice versa)? Maybe the world would be too unbalanced, I don't know.

One thing I do know though, is that it became much more apparent in the "working world." I'm more glad than ever that I took a year off to gain work experience in between undergrad and grad school, because I believe I've got much more realistic expectations of what the "real world" will be like. I've seen people at work break things and blame other innocent people for it. People who only talk to others based on their "rank." People who take advantage of other people's kindness. And these are all different people, too. I naively thought all people had integrity, but I guess not. And the world's not fair. Will they face some sort of consequences for their actions? Maybe. Maybe not. We'll never know, another fact of the unfair world. I guess all we can do is hope that the world is more fair than unfair, and that karma does exist.

The Price of Productivity

This weekend I had probably the most productive weekend since maybe graduation. Yes I know, that's quite pathetic, but I've found that I've just been a lazy girl after a week at work. Not that I even work many hours, but that's a different story. But it really couldn't have been better, especially with all the friend-catching up I got. A quick Starbucks run with my friend visiting from NM and then family Larkburger trip and Target run rounded out late morning to early afternoon, then hospice visit, work and double date dinner. Plus walking around 16th street that I am not embarrassed to admit counted as my weekend "exercise." Sunday was cleaning and errand running. I'm not really sure how my room doesn't really look any cleaner, but I swear I actually cleaned it. Perhaps because most of it was dusting with my new Swiffer duster, which actually really sucks (awful gimmick! booo) But anyways, in all my basking in productivity, what did I receive? Worst f-ing migraine ever. Seriously, it woke me up at about 2 this morning and popped up on and off all early-morning until I nixed it for good with a nap. Puh. Stupid weather changes. I've got an interesting family. We could seriously be hired to predict the weather, or at least the pressure changes.

Checking Out the Brain

Usually it's my dad who's says hilarious things. Or me, which is part of how I am really similar to my dad. We both have this habit of not quite remembering how sayings go, so we sort of jumble it a bit, which always makes for lots of laughs. But at least we can laugh at ourselves, right?

But anyways, yesterday, the funny quote of the day went to my mom. It was amusing in a different way. Not because she misquoted a saying (she never does that, it's just me and my dad) but because of how she phrased things. I was up in my room, surfing the net, and I hear my mom yell out, "Kel! Wanna check out my brain??" I laughed, and went to go and see, and my mom was standing in the kitchen, holding her MRI scans to the light, trying to figure out which way to hold them. My dad came to look too, and informed me that mom was "trying to find the hole in her head" that was left from the removal of her brain tumor. None of us, obviously knew anything about the scans, but we couldn't see any holes, which is probably a good sign. All I could identify in the MRIs were my mom's eyeballs. After the three of us squinted at them for a while, she packed them away and was taking them upstairs when my sister finally came down. On the stairs, my mom told my sister something along the lines of, "you're too late to look at my head." Definitely an amusing few minutes :)

Movin On

Well, I guess unfortunately this turned out to be more like a four year circle than I would have liked. Yesterday I found out I was rejected from CU. Not even waitlisted, no, but flat out denied. And yes, I will admit, there were a ton of tears and frustrations pouring out. I cried so much on the way home from picking up my mom yesterday afternoon that my nose got so plugged that I actually gave myself a headache, probably from lack of oxygen. Pathetic I know, but I just wanted to go here that badly. And truthfully, perhaps I did get my hopes up a bit too much. I mean, you're supposed to have the best chance at getting into your state school for heaven's sake. So yes, perhaps a touch cocky? Or no, not cocky but definitely a bit too hopeful.
I know in a ton of ways I'm still incredibly lucky, I did get into medical school, and unlike undergrad, I actually have a choice of where I want to go. But I'm kind of bummed, that I have a choice between two sort of low tier schools. I loved CU and it's especially hard when you hear of the people you know celebrating cuz they got into that exact same school. Sad day.
But I do admit I'm feeling a lot better about it. The road's gonna be a lot tougher, but it's still very walkable. And it's amusing to me how some good things can still come of it. I was so depressed yesterday I passed on going to the hospice to visit my patient, even though I had it all planned. But today, I got this call saying the hospice has the Norwalk virus, which is apparently a highly contagious virus that gives you bad food poisoning. So I guess it would've been likely that I would've gotten it had I come in yesterday like I would have if I had gotten into CU. Ha! Sort of an amusing thought :)
So unfortunately I've got to make the hard decision I didn't want to make, but I'm heavily heavily leaning on going to Chicago over New York. But if Temple comes through for me (fingers tightly crossed on this one, please please please!) then Philly it is!! But for now I just gotta grin (or maybe grimace a bit) and bear it, and move on. And I hope people visit me in Chicago or PHilly, wherever I go :)

Time Management. Or Lack Thereof

For the umpteenth time this year, I'm wondering where all the time is going. It's already March?!?! Which also means that at any point I could finally hear back from CU. That should be good news, but now I'm just extremely nervous. Definitely my top choice, but....still. There's always that nagging feeling. I'm not sure I want to really stay here. I wish Rosalind Franklin was a better school. Or that I got in to Temple, and it was like $15,000 a year cheaper.
The only nice things about time progressing so fast is definitely the incoming warmer weather.
Now if I could only get off work earlier to enjoy it :) But instead, it's sitting in front of the computer. And now I've got to start coming in on Saturdays too. I mean, I shouldn't complain, I don't work 40 hours/week like most normal people, but I still get sort of exhausted from the work week. And for living only like 10 miles away from work, it still takes a half hour each way which I find kind of odd for living so close. But oh well, why quibble. I just feel like I have no more time for myself. I've got so many things to do that keep getting put off, but I never really know why. I honestly don't know what I do with my time. Scary isn't it? I guess it's time to start managing my time better, even my down time. Which is sort of sad, too. But oh well. I guess it'd help if I cut down on my amount of sleep, but that just makes me too cranky. If only there was a 'stop time momentarily' button that I could press every now and then....And now I suppose it's time to get off the computer to do some of the stuff I've been putting off, like fixing my closet. Dang.