What makes a person who they are? I wish I took psychology so then I could psychoanalyze myself. I think it'd be quite interesting. I want to figure out why I am so up and down all the time. Then I could put the brakes on my roller coaster.
I wish it would rain. But not a torrential downpour like it's been lately, just a light sprinkle. To match my mood. I've decided that there's nothing like sitting with a warm drink at night listening to the rain to get the brain thinking. Now that it's officially summer I can't force my brain to think unless I get in the right mood. If I'm not, then I just avoid things and they just build and build again, like they used to.
I miss everyone. I miss everyone and yet I don't think I'd know what to say to everyone once I see them. What a dilemma ;)

Inexplainable Thoughts

I think cold medicine makes me weird, very emotional and hyper. Almost like other like other times this semester.
I'm so relieved that school is over. But I'm even more relieved that although I never found that balance, I was still able to please my parents with decent grades and please myself by having a little more fun. Must work on more of a balance though, but I think that has to come with figuring out myself a little better. But that's for the two weeks I have before work starts: figuring out myself. I still haven't figured out what I want yet, even though I have decided what I want to do for the summer:
scrapbooking
clubbing
Elitch's
sleeping
reading
watching the movies i never got around to watching before
and of course catching up with everyone.
I feel so guilty that I haven't really been keeping in touch with everyone. I'm so bad with that, and then I feel as though I'm not sure what parts of my life to open up and what parts to keep hidden away. And I have a bunch of feelings and thoughts that I don't even think I could possibly put down into words. Do you ever feel like that? Like there are thoughts and emotions that just can't be expressed, only felt. I feel as though the power behind them would be lost by trying to explain them somehow. And the fact that I can't capture them almost scares me because I won't be able to remember it later on. I don't want them to fade away, like how things disappear in my mind right before I go to sleep, or right before I wake up. If I could explain my thoughts then maybe I'd be able to figure out what they all mean.