Out With the Old

As 2005 comes to a close, as well as our winter break :(, I was thinking. 2006 is the year we finally graduate, and I never thought that year would come. I remember in fifth grade, my GT teacher was writing me a note saying how she would see me graduate in 2006, and I couldn't believe how long away that was. Everything seems so long ago and yet most of it happened so quickly it's now a blur. Odd, isn't it? Even this year has seemed long, but short at the same time.

I look back at 2005, and I don't know, lots of new things happened, lots of drama and stuff, but I still feel like the same old person. I don't think I've changed much, really. I mean, I still lack common sense, I'm still feeling continually stressed out, I'm still single, and I'm still hanging out with the same people. I think year 16 was sort of boring for me. It was still lots of fun and all, but it didn't really seem all that special to me. I mean, after prom was a sort of fiasco at the beginning, and summer was a bit tense. Homecoming I had a date, but it wasn't all that spectacular, and now the year's ending! And this break I didn't get a chance to do half the stuff I wanted to. College apps ruined the entire freaking break. That and Age of Innocence. O, and the lack of snow. It's sorta hard to build a snowman without the snow.
Maybe 2006 will bring me some better luck.

Home Sweet Home

Now that I've been back for a few days, I have to say that I appreciate Colorado and all it's beauty a whole lot more. Raleigh was nice, but by the end of the 4 days I was kinda sick of all the dead trees. I'm sure they're nice in the spring when they're all blooming and all, but right now they're sorta depressing. And at night it gets a bit creepy. And Raleigh is a bit dead. I mean, there's no rush hour traffic. No hectic bumper to bumper frustration trying to get home, like there was today after I was gift shopping for my mom. And I guess North Carolina must be pretty religious, because Sunday morning everything was dead. Completely shut down.
So all in all, I know that Denver's not the most exciting city to live in, but it sure is more exciting than Raleigh. And I have realized that between lots of trees and lots of mountains, I sure as heck prefer the mountains. :) Maybe Denver's not so bad after all...

The Image

I can't believe how uptight and self-conscious I've been lately, always worried about how people see me and what they think. Like how panicked I was when I found out about those lovely little rumors. And debate. I look back at debate last week and then I was all concerned about that mean Wheat Ridge team and what I possibly did to piss her off. But now I couldn't care less... Lots of people have probably felt the same way about me as that girl did, I just haven't heard about it. There's more to life than what people think of you. Thank God.

Looking at Rohini's picture of the picnic got me thinking about this year. I think the college apps and whatnot has sorta ruined the picture, but things haven't been so bad. A lot of the things I was kind of moody about, like Homecoming, were so stupid. It makes me laugh. I was so immature to let stuff like that get to me. But I think I've learned my lesson. Reminiscing has also made me realize that I've been missing out. A month ago I was hanging out with friends on the weekends, going to late night movies. Now, I've been reduced to studying and daydreaming, even on my birthday. Ick...I do not want to be a nerd. What happened to singing at the top of my lungs to random songs, and driving around with no place in particular to go?

I think this Winter Break I'm just going to be like a kid again. I want to make snow angels and make snowmen on my front lawn with rocks hidden inside to prevent kids from kicking it down like I used to. I want to drink hot chocolate while reading and watching the snow fall... I want to live the perfect image of winter.