Let Me Know About the Little Things

Sometimes I wonder what happened to me since I turned 16. I mean, up until then things were always pretty good, generally speaking. But things just don't turn out the way I hoped anymore. I was trying to fill out the form for teacher recs, and I have no accomplishments. And everything I tried out for last year I didn't get. I guess that's part of growing up, huh. But if that's the case, I'd rather be young and innocent for a little while longer. If someone finds the way to live a good life, let me know.

Actually, until yesterday, my idea of how certain things were going to be were pretty much dashed. Like Homecoming. On the whole, a good, fun time. But somehow, I pictured it to be better than last year's because everyone was coming this time. Not the case. And Friday. Picturing lots of fun for two hours skating, playing laser tag with two friends. You know, a chance for me to hang out with different people for a change. Reality: two boring hours sitting at a desk daydreaming. But yesterday was a good time, just like I had hoped. So thanks Ozzie. I saw my first rated R movie without any parents, and playing Catchphrase was a nice end to the day.

I knew Rabah was right when she said this year would be all about the little things. I just didn't know how right. I mean, true, it's only been a month, but still. The big stuff I was looking forward to so far have been sort of a let down, and all the memorable stuff have been little in actuality. So I guess I'm stuck here, waiting for another little thing to mark down in my life's timeline and make a little blip in my otherwise boring life. If someone finds the secret to living life happily, let me know. Because at dinner last night, I realized that I'm kind of a negative person. My first thoughts to 8th and 9th grade were all negative. And I know that while they sucked and I laugh about it now, there must have been some happy moments there. Right? It'd be too sad if all I remembered from my high school days were about how unhappy they were. Is it too late to start sugar coating memories?

Time Stands Still

I wish that time would just stand still for a while so that I could enjoy some of the little beautiful moments in life. Like looking up at the sky through the green leaves at lunch. I could just lie there forever and think about things. It's quite peaceful, really.
I sat there thinking. Life's too short to just settle. From now on, I'm going to try to not do things halfheartedly. All or nothing. Which means, unfortunately, that I'll have to show a little more spine. I'll have to work on that. Someone beat me up if I don't speak my mind once in a while. But that's another thing. Usually I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. So after doing some quick thinking, I think that Friday and my indecisiveness has shown me that a) I do have some spine, but not enough and b) a certain person is not really worth it. Who hooks up that fast? But it's all good.
And I also thought about Homecoming. It was pretty good, but what was up with the music? Man, were some people busting out the moves, as Roro would say. That was awesome. Some things kinda weirded me out though. But I think it was worth it to see everyone looking so pretty!
But ok, I have no pictures of me with anyone! I think Rabah took one of me and her, but that's it. I have no picture with Rohini, or Yang, or Anandi, or Abhi or Alicia or Triveni. How am I supposed to remember Homecoming with no pictures of me and my friends?
I wish time would just stand still for a while. I feel like life's a blur, and I can't keep a handle on it. I want to remember all the little moments with my friends before they go away. Time Stands Still...Good song too.

Train Wreck

I think I have serious communication issues. I laughed about it a lot yesterday, but it also really sucked. I think my problem is that I don't really pay attention to conversations. Sigh. I can be so stupid sometimes. Yesterday morning, I was my usual, cautious (ie boring) self. By lunch, I was quite proud of myself, and I was going a bit faster. By the end of the day, even faster, and by the time I was at Chipotle, I think I crashed. Not good.

Today's homecoming, and I've got a lot of mixed feelings. For starters, I'm starting to feel sick again, and I've had a stomachache for 24 hours now. And I'm really, really nervous. But, I'm excited to see how wonderful everyone's gonna look. I wish everyone was going though. It would've made things a lot more fun. But what can you do. And I think a wish like that would probably backfire anyways, knowing my luck.

Err, sorry about my last couple of posts. I didn't mean to make people worry. This is just how I clear things out of my head. Good news, I was just being a moody idiot, as usual, but it's all squared away. :) I did discover that it's quite nice to sit around and watch movies while you're supposed to be doing your homework, which I did this weekend, and also yesterday since I had 4th off. What a good way to clear your head.

Bad news: I think I caught a bad cold. My nose will not stop running and I feel bad. And that calc test sucked. I haven't even started the back page yet. I blame my nose. I couldn't concentrate. :( And that fire drill in the midst of the freezing cold weather didn't really help at all.

But in between all my sniffling, I decided that Homecoming, though it may suck, is (grudgingly) worth spending the 15 dollars for. Because we're all going this time. And, as Roro reminded me last night, I did have fun last year. I had forgotten that. And, even cooler, I might add, I can go out to dinner with you guys! My mom totally gave me the evil eye when I said I would have to carpool, meaning I would have to catch a ride with another teenager (gasp, oh how awful!), but she's agreed. I'm excited now.
So while drinking hot chocolate (the best drink ever for cold days), I have decided that this better be a good homecoming to make up for the fact that this week has too many tests, and the fact that I've got a cold. Though TOK last night was pretty fun, except for those few people who just kept Talking. It's fun to smoke marijuana. Lol, I can't believe that was in the song. And all that stuff about Disney. Seriously, how did you guys know about all that stuff? Since when did IB students watch Disney movies that closely? ;)

I feel like I'm six inches tall. I can't think, there's no more room in my head. Just please don't lie to me anymore, k? I'm sick of blaming myself.

Some Days

Some days it's the little things that make a day great, happy and just perfect in your mind. Other days, it's the little things that just make the day awful and sad. Today's one of those other days.
Sometimes, I wish I could live in a cave. It'd make life easier. But then I'd miss English, today's highlight. Himanshu and Yang along with Mr. Ady's weird acting and PA's made me crack up.
And I tire of being the afterthought

Grimm Heart Attack

Last night I had such an Awesome time at the movies! We were out having fun with the idea of a long weekend, and the fact that Anandi and Rohini got their liscences! So Teesa, Rabah, Anandi, Abhi, Roro and I all went to Brothers Grimm. I wish we saw you earlier though, Rabs. I love Friday night movies. It makes me feel like an everyday teenager out having fun, not a typical IB nerd who stays in and does homework all night long.
Omigosh, that movie was so good that I didn't feel guilty about the baseball game my family was supposed to go to. Ok, well I didn't really think so until I got over my heart attack. I should've known the movie would be scary, considering that it's Brothers Grimm, the people who made gruesome fairy tales. I kept screaming in the movie theater. But it was funny and I loved it. Everyone should go see it. If you ask me though, that movie should be rated R. It was gruesome and unnecessarily violent. And it was enough to make that girl cry. However, I have to admit. I think IB English has scarred me for life. During the times where I was thinking and not in shock or fear, I kept thinking about the tone and symbols and meanings of some of the actions, and other lit junk. Yuk.
Heath Leger and Matt Damon were awesome. And that guy in the previews was cute, but I have two things to say: 1) What kind of a name is Woodsworth? and 2) Teesa, how did you even know his name was Woodsworth?

I can't believe we've only been in school for two weeks. It seems like so long, and graduation is so far away. Although I want to get out of here, I'm enjoying it quite nicely. Except for band, and the usual homework of course. I don't think I've been so happy since I don't know when. Hanging out with all you guys at lunch, especially Green days, is awesome. I'm going to bring my camera Wednesday to take a picture of all the IB Seniors there. It'd make a cool picture. I feel as though I've gotten closer to and gotten to know people better, and I'm so relaxed and happy now. I have no idea why, maybe all you guys are finally rubbing off on me and your laughter and happiness is infectious. I can't wait for Homecoming.